Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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