You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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