I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
