I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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