He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
