I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
