she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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