They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
