the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
