I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
