your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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