You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
