This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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