He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
