I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
