What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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