last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize