i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
