All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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