so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
