Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
