After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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