Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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