i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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