think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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