Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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