I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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