I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I need to stop coming to work sober
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
