Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
