If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
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