so that wasnt chicken after all
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
