Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize