dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
