you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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