He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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