if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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