It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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