pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
