Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
