obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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