do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Randomize
