I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
this boner is exhausting
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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