Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
