Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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