my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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