do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
