Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
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