Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
