so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
