how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
