So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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