1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
