i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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