its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Too much gin, very little bucket
the day after is always just damage control
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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