i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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