also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
