Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
