I look better un-naked...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
