Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
