..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
