Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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