In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
