would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
