it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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