My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
